Khamis, Disember 04, 2008

I love being a mother
I love being a wife to my mr husband
I love being a me. Myself. A person

I love my baby Zara
So much
I love to see her changes everyday S
he’s growing up R
ight in front of my eyes
And her cheeks are so soft that i feel like eating
And she can wear skirts and shorts as her legs are no more skinny

My mom bought baby Zara a pair of jeans, skirt, and 3 shirts for Raya haji
I bought my baby a RL knitwear sweater
Macam nak pengsan tengok baju baby cantik cantik
Rasa macam nak beli semuanya
Tapi baby zara kecik lagi
Banyak baju cantik cantik untuk budak yang dah 2, 3 years
Tunggu ye zara, hari raya next year mama beli baju banyak banyak supaya zara boleh raya 30 days.

Our little family will celebrate Raya Haji at Ampang
We’ll be going back on Saturday morning
I know my mom tak happy sangat
Sebab belum habis pantang
Well, what to do
Takkan nak soh my in-laws semua beraya kat ipoh kot

Tade ape dah nak tulis
Saje nak letak gamba my baby Zara




































Isnin, Disember 01, 2008

I miss my baby Zara
Baby Zara ada kat rumah
Mebbe kejap kejap lagi baru baby datang
I want to bring baby
Tapi mak tak bagi
Mak kata ini tempat kerja jangan buat macam tempat main
Well, ni tempat kanak-kanak
Apa salahnya bawak baby zara ke sini
Pastu mandikan baby zara kat sini je
Terpaksa la pegi keje sorang sorang
Since mr husband kelaur awal
Dan nak ikut mr husband
Terpaksa la keluar awal jugak
Dan terpaksa tinggalkan baby zara
Jadinya sekarang i miss my baby zara
Next time, baby zara will follow wherever i go
Tanak tinggal tinggalkan baby zara dah

Tadi pun masa keluar dengan mr husband
Kesian tengok ca yang berdiri je tengok kat pintu
Hati rasa nak bawak ca jugak

It’s not easy bila terpaksa dengar cakap banyak pihak

Mr husband cakap i am someone yang mengharapkan orang
I told mr husband that i am not
I told mr husband, kalau hal yang berkaitan dengan my kindergarten, as in my work
Memang selagi boleh handle sorang sorang, i will.
Dan i ingatkan mr husband macamana masa tengah pregnant, i bancuh simen, simenkan lubang depan pagar tadika, pastu simenkan tiang bendera, repair meja dan banyak lagi kerja kerja berat yang buat sendiri je.

Tapi some people they don’t know how i work
They just don’t know my problems
They just don’t want to understand
Maybe they can’t see the situation I am in

And they simply said that I already have the symptoms of meroyan
Apa kes?
Mereka mereka ini nak sangat tengok si inaz ni meroyan ke
Ataupun mereka memang berdoa supaya inaz ini meroyan
Kata kata macam tu la yang sangat menghiris hati
Yang menyebabkan i depressed
Dan kalau betul si inaz ni meroyan

Mereka letak terlalu banyak constrain
I know my limit
I know how far I can go

Now, tell me what’s the difference of me going out to work, going to the bank,
With me going to shopping complex?
I am still going out
And the reason I went shopping is to get things done
If I didn’t do it all
Ada ke orang yang akan help me?
Ada?

Tu la
They just don’t understand
They choose not to
They make me sad
Really sad

And I hope
Mr husband tak termakan dengan kata kata orang
I really hope that mr husband believes in me
Dia kena yakin yang
Si inaz ni masih waras
Si inaz ini tak meroyan
Si inaz ini tak gila lagi
Dia masih tau batas
Dia tau apa yang dia buat
Dia masih sedar dan boleh berfikir

Dia cuma akan sangat depressed bila ada orang provoke
Bila ada orang yang marah marah dia
Bila orang saja tanak memahami dia

Orang tak tau
Orang tak tau apa yang inaz itu lalui
Lepas baby zara lahir
Mr husband tade dengan si inaz
Mr husband tak tau dalam masa tu macamana depressednya inaz
Luckily si inaz itu ada baby zara untuk kuatkan semangat dia

Si inaz itu
She just want to have a good life
A happy life with her baby Zara
She want to get things done
Thus, she have to do what she needs to


And mr husband
If you ever read my blog
I just want to thank you
For your patience
And please,
Please bear with me
Please support me
I really need some extra strength
I really hope that I will last

Khamis, November 27, 2008

Baby Zara dah almost one month
Mama’s little flower tu dah botak
Rupa rupanya baby zara ada tanda lahir kat kepala dia
Dah botak baru nampak
Tapi tatau la tu kesan daripada vaccum masa lahir haritu
Kalau tu kesan dari vacuum
Memang kesian la anak mama

Malam malam sebelum tido kena berperang dulu dengan baby zara
Biasanya baby zara akan tido dalam pukul 12
Tapi mama dia ni dekat dekat pukul 10 dah start mengantuk dah
Mula la pass baby kat atuk, kat tok mama, kat babah
Habis semua orang kena jaga Zara
Tapi las las baby zara akan balik jugak kat mama
Sebab dia misti nak tido dengan mama
Dan baby Zara adalah baby yang sangat baik
Sebab dia akan tido sampai pagi
Dalam pukul 5 sengah atau enam baru baby Zara akan bangun balik
Dia memang bagi mama dia rehat

Mr Husband pegi KL
Kursus
Nasib baik sehari je
Habis kursus boleh terus balik Ipoh
I miss mr husband
I think baby Zara also misses her daddy

Harini baby Zara meragam je
Tanak letak
Tiap tiap hari I will tell baby Zara
“baby, mama ada class. Pukul 10 sampai 12. Baby sleep. After class mama akan main dengan zara”
So, baby zara will sleep and right at 12, baby Zara akan bangun tidur dan tanak tido dah sebab mama dia dah janji nak main dengan dia
Pastu kalau cakap kat baby zara, “zara, mama bizi. Nanti bila habis kerja baru mama main dengan zara”
Dia akan tidur dan bila mama dia habis kerja, zara akan terus bangun.
Tau je dia bila mama dia habis kerja

Tapi harini dah pesan dah kat baby zara
Dia still tanak tido
Dia nak menyusu sepanjang masa
Dia nak berdukung sepanjang masa
Dia tidur nak berpeluk

Lepas ni ada kelas pukul 3 sampai 5
Baby Zara dah tidur
Dah pesan jugak kat dia yang after five, baru mama boleh main dengan dia
Harap harap baby zara dengar cakap mama

Pagi tadi checkup baby zara
Berat Zara dah 3.4 kg
Panjang 51 cm.
Cepat je dah ada perubahan
Masa lahir haritu baby 2.9 kg n panjang 47 cm

Baby zara
Mama harap baby zara membesar dengan sihat
Mama nak anak mama jadi anak yang cerdik
Jadi anak yang menghormati orang tua
Dengar cakap mama dan babah
Mama harap kehadiran zara akan sentiasa menyejukkan hati semua orang

Mama nak zara belajar pandai pandai
Nanti mama bagi kindergarten mama ni kat zara
Kalau zara tanak kindergarten
Zara kena belajar tinggi tinggi
Supaya boleh jadi engineer
Nanti zara boleh jadik boss babah kat tm.
hahahhahahahahahahha

i love u my little flower
U are one precious gift from heaven
Mama is so lucky to have you, little angel

Rabu, November 12, 2008

For my lover
Happy first anniversary
I love you



Kerinduan - Sheila Majid

Dulu pernah aku bersumpah
Selalu setia jika ku mencinta
Masih melekat rasa itu
Saat cintamu datang padaku

Semua terwujud, saat kau singgah
Panasi cinta, untuk setia merindu

(Korus)
Kerinduan tak akan menghilang
Kan selalu ku rasa
Tak mampu ku menghindar
Kau berikan, apa yang ku pinta
Kau mengingatku dalam cinta
Temaniku dalam…
Setia (jalani hidup ini)

Aku tak pernah mengharapkan
Cinta lain datang membelaiku
Aku dapat selalu bertahan
Menahan cintamu di sukmaku

Kehadiranmu basuh jiwaku
Engkau suluhkan api cinta diriku

Ahad, November 02, 2008

It's been a wonderful + scary experience, but at last, i've delivered the most beautiful, sweetest baby in the world.

We named her Aisya Zahirah. The pronounciation of aisya is a-ye-sya. I still havent decided what im going to call her. There are times when i called her aisya, baby, but most of the time, i call her shayang. Maybe i want to call her Zara.

Im still adapting myself to motherhood. I called myself mommy and sometimes mama. I called mr husband daddy and sometimes babah.

Aisya Zahirah was born on 28th october 2008 at 5.20 am.

I was in labour for 26 hours. Mr husband and i went to hospital on 27.10 at 4.30 am. After some checkups, they put me in labour suite. Later on, in the afternoon, i was sent to labour room. Well, i thought, its going to be fast. I was wrong. Totally wrong.

I was left alone. Im in total pain. I heard the specialist told the doctor to give me etonoks but no, the doctor did nothing. At 9 pm, i told the doctor that i want my husband to be with me. He came in at 4am. During that time, i was so in pain till there are times when i feel like i just want to let myself go. Most of the time, i keep on telling baby that we have to do this together.We have to survive.

Nanti la sambung.Kt hospital ni and i want to get some sleep